The big lean.

In my family, I am the first born. I have perfectionist traits, teeter on the edge of OCD cleaning at times, am performance driven and don’t tolerate myself underachieving. As a nurse of over 20 years, life became more like a time management sheet, ticking boxes and completing tasks, quite rigid, really.

Becoming a mother changed this to a degree however, I still witnessed myself trying to control situations and outcomes which led to bitter disappointment and unnecessary pain, because I had expectations of how life “should” unfold.

“Should” the emotional swear word fraught with expectation and very little flexibility – like me really.

This year I made the conscious decision to let go of control, stop being so rigid and open myself up to the possibility that the universe might actually have a plan for me. Letting go of preconceived notions about how life should look and simply accepting whatever comes my way.

My journal entries were thick and fast as I tried to document all the emotions I was feeling, what was coming up, why I was feeling this way and, what was I so afraid of? In doing so I started coming round to the idea of letting go, softening and, now I’m verging on excitement to witness the lessons life has install for me.

What I am learning is the fear and anxiety that resulted from trying to control were not worth the stress. I am gaining perspective and re-evaluating what’s really important in life. I no longer sweat over the small things and, when a situation arises where I feel like taking control I ask myself the series of 4…

If I let go of control and lean in to this situation will the outcome matter in 4 hours? 4 days? 4 weeks? 4 months? 4 years? Unless someone was going to be hurt the answer was invariably no, it doesn’t matter, so JUST LET GO!

Completely trusting and surrendering to the universe is a real challenge but one I’m ready for. I feel lighter as a result and am starting to relish this new way of living.

So, I encourage you to take the first step of letting go and surrendering, because how do we know what the universe has planned for us if we are always trying to control the situation? Free yourself from pointless worry and stress by leaning in, being open to receiving loving guidance and all the beautiful lessons the universe has. Everything that is meant for you will find it’s way, so relax, everything is exactly as it should be for you, right here, right now.